Hold on Loosely... but Ya Better Buckle Up!

Change. It's inevitable. I've heard it said that change is the only constant in life. I've only been around 48-ish years, but I'd say that's pretty accurate.

Sometimes change is great and exciting and signifies the beginning of a season that we've dreamed about for years! The air is charged with anticipation and we stand tall to embrace all the wonders that are coming our way. Isn't it so easy to be kind to people in these seasons? Life is good, so we are inspired to go help others experience all the goodness. We are a force of energy bouncing our chi around like the ball in a pinball machine! With each buoyant step you can hear the tune, "I'm on top of the world, hey!" Aaaahhh... I love those times. :)

Then there are those times when change is uncomfortable. Something happens that's not exactly what we were expecting, or maybe it completely blind-sides us. I've seen this happen many times in careers, relationships, in the minutia of life and in the bigger, course-altering situations. Once 'on top of the world (hey!)', we can suddenly find ourselves launched into a deep, gut-sucking dive. If we're not solidly grounded, we are quickly caught up in a whirlwind of up and down emotions... alas, the roller coaster existence.

Still other types of change come along and try to completely derail us from that roller coaster that we've found both thrilling and frightening. We're stuck in the loopty-loo, no longer sure which way is up, and we just want off the dang ride. (This is where being buckled up is really beneficial.)

This kind of change can leave us flailing. It's overwhelming. It hurts. It's not fair. We kick and scream trying to resist it, but... it ultimately doesn't matter how we feel. It's happening. In my experience the worst is when someone you love dies unexpectedly and way before what we perceive to be 'their time'. I mean, when you're betrayed by a friend or something, you can at least try to work it out. Maybe there was a misunderstanding, and a little open-minded communication will rebuild that bridge. But when someone you love just vanishes into the next life with no warning and no goodbye... how you gonna work that out? You can't talk them into coming back. You can't ask them what happened. I mean, you can ask, but I've yet to receive an answer. You can't bargain with God. You're just there. Slack jawed. With a huge hole in your heart. It's like a vacuum of desperation... mind racing... grasping for alternatives to what is obviously your new reality. Eventually you realize this change is here to stay, and running from it is futile.

No matter what type of change we find ourselves facing, running from it - resisting it - is not a good long-term solution. How do I know? Well, I've tried it, of course! It's miserable. You can't find a firm footing. Bitterness and resentment take the place of peace and love, and joy fades into despair. It doesn't take a genius to know these are horrible trade-offs. But knowing that doesn't necessarily mean holding on to the good stuff is easy. Feelings can be so strong and they can yell so loudly. You think you're justified in feeling the way you do, and maybe you are, but is that really the way you want to continue?

I know what it's like to be imprisoned to the hurt and the 'what-ifs' and the 'it's my faults'. I was 30-something and twice-divorced before I was finally free of the complexities from losing my dad when I was a toddler. It was a messy ride and even though I knew Jesus, I was buckled-up to the 'feeling of the day'. When the thoughts, 'you're not good enough... not lovable...not worth anything', came to mind, I believed them! I layered them up as truth, building a foundation doomed for demise... unable to withstand the ups, downs and loopty-loos of this ever-changing roller coaster life.

That's embarrassing to admit. But it only shows how faithful and patient our loving God is. None of it was a shock to Him. He knew every day of my life before I was born, and He chose to bring me here anyway. He is faithful to complete what He started... and that includes us.

It took some time, purposefully practicing gratitude, and intentional study of the real truth... the things God says about me (and you!) in the Bible, but that flimsy foundation was torn down and in its place now stands a firm foundation built on God's goodness, His faithfulness, and His love for me. Well, looky there... it's not even about me or my goodness... it's all about Him! I see what you did there, God! ;)

This firm foundation is what helps me through the loss of my step-daughter. Talk about grappling with God... whew! (By the way, God is not afraid or offended at your questions, wrestling, screaming, crying, etc.).

Through it all here's what I know... I don't have to know. I've seen God's goodness and faithfulness throughout my 48-ish years, and I know He doesn't change. I know bad things happen. I know God doesn't cause them. There is an enemy out there who does seek to kill, steal and destroy, but that's certainly not our loving Heavenly Father, who sent His Son, Jesus, to be our solid rock and salvation. No, He takes those bad things, and in His mysterious way, uses them to bring about the goodness of His purpose. We don't always get to see how right away. In some cases, we may never get to see how while we're here. But I humbly join with generations before me in fully believing... in buckling-up to His plan.

This life can be a wild ride, but when your foundation is solidly built on Him, you can throw your hands up enjoy the thrill of that loopty-loo, knowing it will serve a purpose... and it's gonna be good!