Only in You

This was written circa 1998, during an extremely difficult time in my life. I would say this is where my journey of transformation really started. Up until this time (and even a while after, to be honest), I had lived my life in search of approval. I knew Jesus, and I would have told you we were super tight, but I didn't know what I didn't know. I'm so thankful that God knows our hearts, that His love is unconditional, and that no matter what state we're in, He will pull us out of our misery when we turn to Him. I sat on my front porch with a notebook, pen and my Bible. I started writing what was on my heart, and He took me to places in His Word to answer my cries. It was a truly humbling, amazing, 'wow - You really see me' experience.

I pray it's a blessing to other longing souls out there.

ONLY IN YOU

This pain in my heart, will it ever end?

It's broken and bleeding; when will it mend?

Facing another day seems more that I can bear.

It's just too much, the grief and despair.

Sorrow stays with me everywhere that I go.

Grief in my spirit, longing in my soul.

How do I live; how do I go on?

The life I once had just seems to be gone.

Where is the hope to face another day?

It left with my joy somewhere along the way.

What happened to the courage I used to have within?

It's gone with my strength; now weakness dwells where they had been.

Will I stay here beaten down for the rest of my life?

Please God, no! There must be an end to this misery and strife.

How do I get there? Which way do I go?

I'm just turning in circles, tossed to and fro.

Misery befriends me; depression takes hold.

How do I get out and break this mould?

Only You, God, can heal me of this pain.

Only You can cleanse me and wash away the stain.

Please give me new hope and show me the way.

Please pull me out of this miry clay.

It's holding on to me, tight and fast,

But You have the power to break its grasp.

I'm counting on You, God, to carry me through.

In myself there's no hope, only in You.

In You I find peace where strife had once been.

You take my despair and renew me again.

The sorrow I had that overwhelmed me so,

You've replaced with joy so the world my know

That You are the Uplifter to those beaten down.

You are Strength to the weak, the Giver of crowns.

To those who are longing down deep in their souls,

You bring fulfillment, revelation and goals.

You take the depressed and bring them up high.

The weak in spirit You long to revive.

You take our misery and give us beauty.

You take our grief and give us relief.

Only You, God, can turn sorrow to joy.

Only You, God, can give life evermore.

We've counted on You, God. You've carried us through.

In ourselves there's no hope... ONLY IN YOU.

- Courtney Chamblin-Wilson